Fracture

When I think back upon my life it has three distinct fracture lines. The "now" started around 20, the "blackness" at about fifteen, and the "childhood" prior to that. The "blackness" which I am eluding to, startled me today. I decided to look someone up on Facebook (which, I do on occasion). Suddenly, he was there, fresh too, because of the lack of friends (not that he really had many, or deserves them). The bubble that I was in, was punctured a little bit. The feeling of dread, nausea, panic and anger ripped through me so quickly that I didn't have time to breath. Quickly, I blocked him, and made everyone who may be affected aware. Yet, the fear is still there. A picture is worth a thousand words, or in my case, a thousand fragments of time dust that you think you have whisked away and shook outside in the breeze. Yet the wind whistles up, and blows the dust motes back in your door as you turn your back. The particles cling, and although they might not be visible, they are still there, even in the minute amounts, they still exist. I recall, seeing him on the street years ago, and looking into his eyes, and the only word to describe them was "hollow". Hollow eyes that were constantly looking for prey. There were no limits, or barriers. He tried to fill his hollowness up with conquests and hate. But on a lovely note, I just found my batteries for my digital camera. I can take pictures of dead foliage tomorrow. My hosta's are the next victim of drought. Browner than a cow paddy those dem thangs are.