Rachel Ridout

We wake up, complain about a huge zit, or some other tiny affliction, with the woe is me attitude and really, in the whole scheme of things it really does not matter. We are so involved with ourselves that we amplify the most minute and superficial "things", because we are self absorbed. We get irritated at the person ahead of us in the "drive thru" of Timmy's because they decided to order a few sandwiches, and it takes longer than expected. So many of these "little" things build up, and then you take a look at this: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/rachelridout In a split second your life has changed, your family's life has changed. All that matters are the seconds, forget the minutes or the hours of being together, all that matters is the here and now.

Gonna be a rockstar

I have been looking at youtube and other sites for tutorials. . .should be fun. Adam is pretty musical, so even if I don't take to it, if we plane his fingers down to the size of a normal person, I am sure he would make use out of it. The kids just plugged their ears and ran.

Curse of the Puberts

Tibbles was testy today. Last night at Guides, she was to bring in a "healthy snack", probably something that is quite alien to the children around her, who are fed with lard and pig tails. (Just joking). She decided to bring in organic vegetable chips, a dip, and carrots. She came home absolutely distressed that the other children had not partaken of her offering. Her state continued into the morning, where upon not being able to locate her lunch pail, she proceeded to have a hissy fit, and stomped to school. I watched from the window where I usually wave, and there she was marching, arms swinging and her head was turned away from me. She knew I would be there doing the auto wave, but she ignored it. An orthodontic appointment was on the agenda for Gibbles today, and as I was rocking out to Ripple, my daughter became so embarrassed. I am not allowed to sing nor am I allowed to make any wiggly gestures in a vehicle if a teenager is a passenger. As I have mentioned, I have an Emo living with me. Black eyeliner, bangs over the eye, possibly sty ridden. I thought Emo was a ship, not a state of being. Upon googling it, I found that my husband and I are in fact part of the first and second wave Emo's and when I told Gibbles this, she looked like she could vomit, and stomped up to her room. (I am trying to relate to her. . .upon telling her this, she ran up to her room yelling "do not try to relate to me". Crap, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't with this age. At least when I was a punk, I had a mission, all these Emo's are supposed to do is crawl under their duvets and cry. At least as teenagers we tried to protest the Gulf War and were like anarchy and stuff. I just do not for the life of me understand these EMUs. I said Emu to her and she had a fit. But, then again, my parents did not understand me. So, this is fair. I had someone say "try to get her to go outside", well, she will sit on the porch and pout. She did go out with her friends last night, and as they congregated outside of our house, they were quite freaked out that Button Boy was watching them. I told them to move to another corner and ignore him. I think I shall start threatening Church Camp. . . stick her at Huron Feathers and see how she likes it. Although, I am sure it has changed since I was there in the 1980's. They pushed me off a raft in the middle of Lake Huron and told me to swim. I swear though, Karma is coming back to kick me in the ass. Two "puberts" living here, you can cut the estrogen with the jaws of life. It sucks.

Dramatic Lemur

The Pogues - If I Should Fall from Grace with God

Just because it's St. Paddy's.

Nine Inch Nails' Ghosts Film Festival - Introduction

Drone drone monotone ughhh. Okay this really fricken inspires me. Ya. Did I mention the last concert I went to see was NIN. . .

Zomb-eh!

60% I got this from www.rightcrazy.com . I think I have a low chance of surviving because I don't have enough creamed corn or munitions.

Addled's Hair. . . .

Addled was pampered yesterday, he had his hair done stylishly. Poor man, he is drowning in estrogen. He is concerned with his thinning, and I thought that this would be the perfect hairstyle. After all the fussing, primping, flat ironing, waxing, and gooping, he decided that he would secretly shave his head while I went for a power walk. Upon returning, I encountered my new husband, Mr. Clean. It was quite the shock, and I have not completely recovered.

Hey!

Does anyone know about "melody ships", they were built in the 1920's, sometimes a radio was added. Any antiquey people out there who know anything, email me. I haven't been able to find anything on the internet. I have the Santa Maria.

Stephane Dion: Hottest politician ever

God help me, but, really Dion is flakier than a puff pastry. When I listened to his multiple choice questions given to the Conservatives, I almost died of embarassment.

Rick Mercer Liberal Song

Wingham bound today, it was a gorgeous day for a quick drive. Tibbles came with me and we walked down the main street, looking for a dress. There are not many stores in Wingham that have kids clothing. We didn't find one, which was expected, but I did pick up a bottle of Bio Oil for her scar. It is really hypertrophic. It must be in the genes, because I scar the same way. Poor kid. So hopefully this stuff works. We have tried those scar things that adhere to the scar, we have tried Vitamin E, so this is another attempt. She is self conscious about it, as it is about 8 inches long now and about two inches wide, at least it is on her arm and is not on her face. It is such a relief that the days are getting longer now. As I write and peek out the window the black silhouettes of trees are highlighted by a pinkish orange sunset that reminds me of an Lifesaver candy. We still have huge amounts of snow and in the distance the sounds of snowmobiles buzzing and the howling sled dogs which are kenneled near the highway can be heard. The kids have left for their Grandparents, and it is a nice respite. I think we are going to watch Four Rooms tonight. I bought a bottle of muscle relaxers today, my neck and shoulder and the rotator cuff have been out of joint again. Which means, I haven't been doing my weights. Usually if I keep up with the weights, the pain goes away, so, I just have to get the ambition to start again. Addled came home from work today with a severe case of hives, an allergic reaction to either mastic, sealer, or pre-cure. I shoved him in the shower and dosed him up with an antihistamine. It was on his hands, neck, face, legs, and some other spots. Poor little man. I have been telling him to stop scratching, because it will only make it worse. I am going to have to bind him up tonight to keep him from itching in his sleep. Heeeheee. I will truss him up like a turkey. Not.

Northern Exposure Adam's Diaper Rant

My mother pointed me towards this gem today, after dreaming about a diaper. I would love to get this box set sometime.

Four Rooms Trailer

Adam finally was able to find this on DVD. . .can't wait to watch it this weekend, it is so funny.

The Harpists of Kung Fu Hustle

I love this part of the movie.

SCTV - John Candy CBC Commercials

I miss John Candy, he was so funny.

pixies - where is my mind

Beat Happening - Indian Summer

Ick, more snow fell last night, and a bit today. I was going to drive to Wingham, but I figure, nah, I'll stay home and maybe tomorrow will be a nicer day. After the ordeal I had the other evening with Addled, I don't even want to encounter snow filled roads. He decided to lead me home through a short cut. . .I was in a snit to begin with, and his short cut became a "lets drive all over god's lost acre and pretend I know where I am going, and torture my wife". There were drifts on these back roads with huge deep ruts in them and I was being pulled into the ditch. I had to keep up with him, because I still don't know Huron County roads well. I had no idea where we were, ended up in Holmesville, and then somewhere else, and by the time we got back on highway four, I was so mad, and my ass was clenched so tight that I was ready to have a melt down. I was furious. So, back safely on highway four, I tailgated him and put on my high beams, then blinked them erratically. I pulled him over, and screamed "YOU OWE ME BOTOX FOR THE WRINKLES YOU JUST CAUSED ON MY FURROWED BROW". I have never done that in my life. So, for the past couple of days, I have been using the On Golden Paws method of training for Onyx. Works like a charm, even for Wookie. No Alpha Dog mentality. It is making the dog work for you, totally different mindset than what I have been reading about. I think I like it. I do feel like an asshole holding a piece of kibble on my forehead in public, but that's okay, I have looked like a moron before, and I will look like on again.

Pixies - Debaser

Better Off Dead

I love this movie. . . "it's got raisins in it, you like raisins"

Weird Al UHF

Family Survival Kit

big mistake

Spiders On drugs

Look Ma, I know a knew werd.

mention =womyntion man-o-war = she/he-o-war manitou = womynitou mandrake = sh-he-drake mandible =s-he -dible mango = s-he-go manipulativenesses =womynipulativenesses manmade = womynmade manubriums= womynubriums I'll think of some more. . . .

I am ticked, I can't upload videos from youtube anymore. I had a whole bunch of funny stuff, but alas, something is weird.

This is good.

I copied this from the commentary section, it's great, here's the link. Ross Kentner has some interesting thoughts. http://www.radioowensound.com/commentary.php?start=1 Commentary can be heard on 560 CFOS Tuesdays & Thursdays at 7:08 am and 5:08 pm Ross Kentner Commentary for Thursday, January 10th 2008: Here’s one of those stories being passed around cyberspace that struck a chord with me. A woman goes into the Motor Registration Office to renew her driver’s licence and is asked to state her occupation. "Do you have a job or are you just a …?" "Of course I have a job," she replied, "I’m a Mom." The putdown came back, "Mom isn’t an occupation, you’re a housewife." She had forgotten the incident when the same situation arose at a medical centre. An over zealous clerk demanded, "What’s your occupation?" Our heroine is quoted, "I don’t know what made me say it. The words simply popped out." I’m a research associate in the field of child development and human relations. Her pen frozen in mid-air, the clerk looked up as if she had not heard right. "I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the form." "Might I ask," inquired the clerk with new interest, "just what you do in your field?" "Coolly, without a trace of flutter in my voice, I heard myself reply," I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn’t) in the laboratory and in the field. (Normally I would have said indoors and out.) I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family). I have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother disagree?) and I often put in 14 hours a day. It’s more challenging than most careers but the satisfaction is what’s important, not just the money. The clerk had become most respectful and stood up to usher me to the door when we were finished. As I turned into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants, ages 13, 7 and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experiment in the child development program, our six months old, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored one on bureaucracy…one for Moms everywhere. Keep that in mind all you Research Associates in Child Development and Human Relations! Commentary can be heard on 560 CFOS Tuesdays & Thursdays at 7:08 am and 5:08 pm

The hermit crab died today. It decided to leave it's shell and crumple. At first I thought it was just pretending, so I took Addled's toothbrush (just joking), (really a non working pen), and poked it, there was no movement. So I flung it into the woodstove. As I was carrying it to the stove, it made me shiver. It looked like a big spider without it's shell. I am glad it is gone.

Trimmings.

Here is a partial wad of hair, mind you, it is a combo of mine, and both my daughters. I had pre-straightened mine before going under the scissors. It makes it easier for my dear hair dresser to work her magic. If my hair is in Brillo state, the poor woman has to spend a good fifteen minutes trying to brush it out. So, prior to my kids running over from the school, I told my hairdresser about the Attach-O-Beard's that I have been making. Then the kids came in got their hair done, and when it was time to leave, I hesitated. Another client had entered, and I really wanted the cuttings from the floor. So, I grabbed them,it will start some wonky rumours around town, but, I have the makings for a few beards, and if I get a cheap bathing cap, I will make Addled a full head of hair! I had mine chopped about four inches, it now just sits at my shoulders, and I had some really dark brown (semi permanent) put into my follicles. I am not sure if I like it, it just seems different, but you have to let it mellow for a few days, so I will wait and see. The hair colour that I was aiming for was Fergie's. I love that woman's hair. Not that I would ever get mine to go like that, but the colour is divine.

Hair

The kids and I have hair appointments today. I have been toying with the idea of going short. There is a little voice in the back of my head saying "Lisa, you are getting a little long in the tooth for longer hair." I don't want to be one of those people who look youthful from the back and then when they turn around you see a leather handbag face. Thing is, is that, I know that I look like a Q-Tip with shorter hair, because my curls do the Marg Simpson thing. It takes years to recover. After being tortured by mean children after my mane was cut off in the 1980's, I just don't want to look like an idiot. I have even thought of pulling a Britney Spears and shaving it all off, and getting wigs. This may sound self absorbed, but, if you have a Brillo like mine, you would probably feel the same way. Most of my curl is at the back of my head. It is so tight and frizzy, that no amount of straightening, curl products, actually put a dent in the fuzz. As a child I had a hairdresser grab the back of my head aggressively and accuse my mother of perming just the back of my head. "Heather" was her name, and she scarred me for life. She either worked at Eaton's or Simpson's back in the 1980's. I remember her look of hatred, same look that Margaret Atwood gave me at her book signing in Bayfield. Mom said "Oh, she didn't like you". In my defense, I may have had a stunned look on my face, with Margaret Atwood. We had to sit crammed in a small, non air conditioned room, and I had ingested salmon on a biscuit, which had become quite warm. I may have given Margaret Atwood stink eye first, but I do remember smiling as she signed my Oryx and Crake. Or, it could have been the fact that I was disappointed that she read from her children's book, instead of one of her adult novels. It was a hot day. Men are lucky, there is the "one haircut fits all." Where women, have all these important decisions to make. I ordered some brown and green contacts. My eyes are naturally green, but I figured I could wear one green and one brown just to switch it up a bit. I could be like my mother, who has one green eye and one blue eye naturally. Lucky girl.