Crab

The other night I woke Adam up with one of my nightmares. I had been dreaming that my father had taken a cookie sheet of hermit crabs and stuck them on me. In my dream, I kept hearing clack clack clack and the buggers were attacking my wrists. Adam told me I was yelling "Daddy, get them off". Today, I went and visited the hermit crab. Yesterday, he had taken off his shell and was walking around nude. Today, I found him back in his old shell. Maybe, he is just trying on his extensive wardrobe of sea shells, and is too particular. I threw in some more shells of different varieties, so hopefully he finds something more apropos in his wardrobe.

Mouth Breather

I just thought about a phrase on my previous post. "Everyone knows how I like to be happy". . . Who doesn't like to be happy. What is happiness? Ahhh, I recall one of my favourite books, by Mark Kingwell "The Pursuit of Happiness : Better Living from Plato to Prozac", which is another must read again, when I have the time and my mouth breather, shift worker husband is not twitching beside me. Yes, the mouth breathing is back. I think it is the orthodontic appliance he wears. His sweet mufflings and pufflings are keeping me awake right now. I have tried: rolling him over sticking my fingers up his nose (okay, it's not nice, but sometimes it works). putting my hand over his mouth (not for a prolonged amount of time, just for a second). telling him to stop it pushing him clear across the bed using my feet and arms NOTHING WORKS. My walking buddy mentioned tonight that it was an "age" thing and a "man" thing. Yet, we are in our early 30's, we are not using canes, or pressing buttons to alert people that "we have fallen and can't get up". I took a quick poll, and a few other people have complained about their husband's nocturnal habits. But, I would rather him huffing and puffing and clacking beside me, than not, because that would make me unhappy.

Pin Up Girl Clothing

This is the bathing suit I have fallen head over heels in love with. Please Pin Up Girl Clothing, start sewing some more! This is the Bettie one piece. I am waiting patiently, and I keep checking back to their fabulous site to see if they have my size. It is such a happy swim suit. Everyone knows how much I like to be happy :) They have some great stuff, best on the web. Their link is in my web links but here is their quicky url: http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/. I have posted a lot of fluff today. . .I have been bored, it was too hot to do anything extremely fantastic. I vacuumed, I dusted, I did laundry, I made dinner, I cleaned Wookie's ear, and I have been checking on my auctions, which are flopping like crazy. I am also on the hunt for a certain circuit breaker, that I keep getting out bid on. General Electric type THQP, the non bolted type. I am looking for both the 20 amp and the 15 amp single pole. So I am OCD with the eBay stuff.

The rain splattered down hard tonight, the winds picked up, and thunder and lightening ensued. It was a great storm. Our power was out for an hour, and I had four of my precious Coleman lanterns blazing. Yet, I had a problem with the Coleman 200 bubble globe. It just wouldn't hold a flame, but the others did amazingly well, considering, I haven't been rotating them. To be useful, they need to be used, and I have neglected my "pretty's". I should oil the leathers tomorrow. In action were: Coleman 335 Coleman 236 Coleman 321-c Coleman 635 I didn't try my Coleman 5101. I did notice, that we were the only ones with illumination on the street. They do come in handy. Yes. . . I am still actively collecting.

I shouldn't have eaten all those cruciferous vegetables.

My not so secret naughty vices and hangups. 1) Anything sweet or high in carbs. 2) Kathy Griffin (I recently found her on the Comedy Network, and she kills me). 3) Noses. (I like to squish them). 4) Trying out self tanners (so far, Tan Towel works), and anti aging moisturizers. 5) Laughing at people. 6) Closet smoker (actually tool shed smoker) that does not like the smell / taste/ or look of smoking. 7) I don't pump my own gas. ( I am in the process of practicing, but I always ask the attendant to watch me. I am afraid I will blow somebody up, or be the cause of an environmental spill). 8) Trashy magazines. I love celebrity gossip, especially when you get to see their flaws. 9) Getting irritated with Sarah Jessica Parker. I think she looks like a primate, and although, I am sure her personality is different than the one on "Sex and The City", I still can't stand her. Her fictitious column always starts with "I start to wonder. . . (or something similar)" Plus she is too self absorbed on that show. I watch the show because of the other characters. I love them, but she is just a pain in the ass. 10) Staring at my Ab Lounge and Tony Little, and not using them. 11) Fear of driving, especially when there is no white line on the left or no mid line delineation. I don't like people walking, riding bicycles, farm machinery, or Mennonite buggies on my route. 12) Fear of spiders. 13) Will not eat at A&W or Burger King. A&W always makes me get a rash, or a throat infection, and Burger King gave us a bad case of food poisoning, then offered us vouchers for free meals after we contacted them. We declined. 14) Procrastination. 15) Speaking in made up accents, or weird voices.

CSI: Jim Carrey

This is quite witty.

CSI Miami - Endless Caruso One Liners

My Dad's quotable quotes on David Caruso. Person: "Lot's of people just love David Caruso". Dad: "I don't know any of them, and I don't want to". I can't watch this show anymore.

Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question

Uhhhhhh. Ummmmmmm. Duhhhhhhh. I hope this was a bad case of stage fright.

Updated July 2008, Price 11,500 Reduced Honda Civic SiR, Sweet Sexy Ride

NOW ASKING $14,000 AS OF MAY 14, 2008!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here is something all of you studly boys or sexy girls need. It's my brother's, and he has put a lot of heart and soul into this sweet ride. Very low to the ground, and swanky. Will definitely puncture your eardrums with the "hi fi". Perfection inside and out, so give him a holler if you are interested. Located in the bustling town of Mount Brydges. The trunk is a thumping speaker. EMAIL for the extensive list of highly technical details, oh new paint job too. He has really juiced this up in a classy, understated way. All custom tricked out SLICK. It is impeccable. 2000 honda civic SiR, custom stereo, 18" wheels, rims alone are a blue collar worker's two week wage, lots of performance upgrades installed and maintained by honda dealer, winter stored, custom body work, 125k, OPEN TO ANY REASONABLY SANE OFFER . email at SiRcustom2000@hotmail.com tell him where you saw it.

What We Have All Been Waiting For. . .

Below is the article from CBC, I just wish that he was deemed by the courts "found innocent", but a misscarriage of justice is a least something.: Court acquits Truscott, calling conviction 'miscarriage of justice' Ontario AG Bryant offers apology and says province won't appeal Last Updated: Tuesday, August 28, 2007 1:07 PM ET CBC News The Ontario Court of Appeal has acquitted Steven Truscott of murder in the death of Lynne Harper 48 years ago, saying the conviction was a miscarriage of justice. In a ruling Tuesday, a five-judge panel unanimously decided to quash the conviction stemming from the rape and strangulation of the 12-year-old girl near a town in southwestern Ontario. Truscott was convicted of the rape and murder of Harper on Sept. 30, 1959, three months after her body was found in southwestern Ontario. He was acquitted on Tuesday after a long fight to clear his name.(Canadian Press) "The court unanimously holds that the conviction of Mr. Truscott was a miscarriage of justice and must be quashed. The court further holds that the appropriate remedy in this case is to enter an acquittal. "The court thus orders that Mr. Truscott should stand acquitted of the murder of Lynne Harper," the court ruled. Truscott was sentenced to hang in 1959 at age 14 for Harper's murder in Clinton, Ont., becoming Canada's youngest death-row inmate after one of the most famous trials in the country's history. After he sat on death row for four months, Truscott's sentence was commuted to life in prison. Two attempts to appeal the conviction failed before he was granted parole in 1969. For nearly three decades, he kept a low profile, raising a family in Guelph, Ont., before going public in 1997 about his life and beginning a new fight to clear his name. Ontario's highest court delivered its decision after wrapping up an eight-month review of the case in February. Shortly after the decision was released, Ontario Attorney General Michael Bryant told reporters the Crown has no plans to appeal, and offered an apology to Truscott. "On behalf of the government, I am truly sorry," Bryant said. "It is a decision that will not be appealed by the Crown — it is over." Bryant also said he has asked Justice Sydney Robins, a former Ontario Court of Appeal judge, to advise the government on the issue of compensation. "The government of Ontario will fully co-operate with Justice Robins, as will all counsel," the attorney general said. Court heard new evidence The court heard new evidence last summer that focused on the time of Harper's death based largely on the contents of the girl's stomach after she died. During the original trial, Dr. John Penistan, the pathologist who conducted the autopsy on Harper's remains, testified she likely died between 7:15 p.m. and 7:45 p.m. on June 9, 1959. Truscott had admitted to being with Harper during much of that period. New evidence presented to the Ontario Court of Appeal panel last summer involved a report written from notes taken during the autopsy that estimated the time of death much later than the half-hour time frame Penistan gave in court. The report estimated Harper was killed at about 12:45 a.m. on June 10, several hours after she accepted a ride on the handlebars of Truscott's bicycle. In Tuesday's ruling, the court said the fresh evidence relating to the time of death "could reasonably be expected to have caused the jury to at least have a reasonable doubt that Harper died before 8 p.m."With files from the Canadian Press

Sea Change

It's late, almost 1:30 am, and I can't sleep. I think it is all the fumes from the painting next door. Maybe it's the change of season, maybe it is the restlessness of knowing autumn is on it's way. The trees are starting to change, I can see a bit more rustic colour in them when the wind blows. School will be starting in just over a week for the kidlets. The summer went so fast, and although fall doesn't actually start until September 21 (or 22nd), the lazy days of summer, have seemed to elude me. I did moan and whine at the humidity, I did neglect my garden (which I plan to remove all the viable flowers from, and replant elsewhere or give away). It just seemed like everything was a whirlwind. This is the first summer that I have experienced which seemed rushed and crazy. I keep thinking of stuff that I should have accomplished, and could have accomplished, but other things took precidence over those things. I didn't expect the amount of work to do on the rental next door. I certainly didn't think I would be still painting. Today, I almost finished the mudroom, which, does look a lot better. The only thing stopping me from fully finishing it is an extra large freezer that I cannot for the life of me move. It's stuck, as in tongue stuck on a pole in a Christmas Story stuck. Normally, I can move just about anything, this thing will not budge, and I think it is catching on the floor that we have to replace. I thought "hernia" as I was trying to push it. It's from the late 1970's or early '80's and it is a brute. It was the one that held copious amounts of beets. I have tried to freecycle it with no avail, maybe if I put it on a bulletin board for 50 bucks, someone will take it. Sometimes people don't like free things, they are afraid of them.

I have run out of things to say.

Pics

We are all showing our wet bums after the bumper boats. The guy who is missing his cranium, didn't do it on the boat. Excuse the spacing issues. Kazoo! Flexing muscles and looking quite casual. I tried to make sure that Rutiger's floatation vest was as snug as possible prior to bumper boating You can just smell the masculinity here. . . ahhhh. There is me in the yellow car, the red car was driven by a kid who was a menace to society.

Fortune Cookie

My previous post was a bitching blog. I am trying not to be pessimistic and bitchy. It's difficult. My fortune cookie read "a secret adventure is in store for you". (If you can't see the pic). Honestly, China Palace's fortunes are always correct. I have not had one steer me wrong. Oooh look, I still have paint on my little fingers. Look at the patina of the Mission Oak Library desk, isn't it luscious? Adventure options 1) Going down the "other" basement stairs, and being surprised by a spider "secretly" waiting for me. 2) A road trip of some kind that doesn't involve children. 3) Being kidnapped by Stacy and Clinton from What Not To Wear. 4) I guess it is supposed to be a secret, and I shouldn't agonize over it. It is a fortune cookie for shit's sake. But they are magical.

Fry Guy

The sky looked ominous and heavy as I walked the dog tonight. I am trying to teach her to walk "slow", because, sometimes I don't always want to power walk. I was to meet with my walking buddy down the road, and guess who should I see cruising around our place? Yep, Drive By Fry Guy is back in action. After a neighbour yelled at him a while ago, it seemed the sightings had disappeared, but again, I think it was just that he has changed cars. Tonight he was driving a burgundy type car, and he slowly cruised by me and glared. He actually slowed down. When I mentioned it to walking buddy, who has seen him parked across from my house on one occasion, she thought it was odd as well. This man does not rent from us anymore, he does not own a house on the street anymore, he does not even live in town anymore. I got home, and had saved the chicken balls from China Palace ~~~yes the ones that make your cheeks happy~~there was a knock at my door. My other neighbour had seen him as well, and felt like he needed to report in. He told me that he yelled to him to stay away. I asked, did he hear you, and he said yes. So this must have been a few seconds before I made contact with him. If it starts to be habitual again, I think I will ask a few police friends what they think. I do have an active imagination, but I do temper it with logic. I don't live in a dream world, and I don't have a persecution syndrome. All I know is that this moron cannot seem to get it out of his head that he is not welcome around here, especially after all the damage and threats I had put up with when I rented to him, and when he owned the place, all the verbal abuse from his wife and kids. They were the blight of the neighbourhood. Instead of putting out their garbage like normal people they had a dumpster at the end of the driveway, it stunk to high heaven, and was hardly every emptied. He had cut plumbing, so all the kitchen sink muck had collected in an old cistern and then was pumped out of the house to the storm sewers. Oh the list goes on. The other weird thing that happened this week, I can't remember if it was Wednesday or Thursday, someone opened my screen door. I was standing by the computer, and heard a rustling at the door. I waited for a knock and there was none. So after I heard the person walk off the porch, I noticed a blue van pull away and then park quickly at our empty rental next door. Then they took off. I opened my door, expecting there to be a flyer or a note, but there was none. Then I checked the door handles for anything gross. Nothing. Just weirdness, I suppose. The humidity is killer tonight, the walk was excruciating, my walking buddy MADE me run, so her hair wouldn't get wet when the rain drops (the size of grapes) fell. When I got back, I was so hot, I could have baked shortbread on the top of my head and boiled an egg in my cleavage. It was that hot. It was almost "Pedro" head hot from Napoleon Dynamite. I had painted some quarter round today, I think I just have one or two more coats to do! Adam and I celebrated our belated anniversary with lunch at the China Palace. We had a moment of eye glazing, and then held hands back home. I also bought some red pepper jelly in Clinton. I hope that it is the same as my Nana makes. I am too lazy to make my own, but I crave it with ham and scalloped potatoes. Then we stopped into Bartcliff's and he bought four eclairs. One was for me, the others were for his work buddies. I guess they are having "bring desert Friday's." All these welders with their pastries. I can just picture them with whipped cream and chocolate all over their faces as they start braising and welding on the line. The eclair was so big, and being lactose intolerant, I could only eat half of it. It was the size of a small cantaloupe. So much for my attempts to trim the tummy.

We Made It! Pictures Too!

Adam and I celebrated our 10th anniversary today. At approximately this time a decade ago, we had scuttled down the aisle together, embarking on what some had said or thought wouldn't last, or possibly didn't want it to last. Well, here we are a ten years later, and although we are complete opposites, we have certainly made it over some humps and bumps and good times as well. So I raise my glass to you naysayers and say "ha ha, you smell". "All you need is love". . . and a good sense of humour. It is said that it is the tin or aluminum anniversary, which is quite fitting because, I was pulling staples and nails out of shoe molding today. Adam was using the power nailer. Then we bid a slobbery adieu to each other. Many people have wedding day regrets. My only regret was being told to open gifts at the reception, so it would be on tape for those that we couldn't invite because we were students and too broke to have a big bang wedding. Not that I wanted to have a big bang wedding. I liked that it was held in my parent's back yard, I like that it was small. What I didn't like is opening the gifts, I thought it was tacky, I wanted to socialize, and I wanted to relax at the reception. If I had been more assertive at the time I would have said. . .wait till we get back from Algonquin when we have Beaver Fever. My other regret was not being able to have MY friends at the wedding. Yet that is all water under the bridge now, and as I take a sip of tea, resentment dwindles, and I think not of what your wedding can do for you, but what you can do for your wedding (huh?). My biggest memory of the day was Gibbles changing out of her "wedding attire" and stuffing herself into her "dancing dress" to the soundtrack of "The King and I". It was made by my late Aunt Thelma, and looked like a pink wedding cake with all the tiers of material and frills. It was a few sizes too small, and she didn't care, all she wanted to do was dance. She danced herself into a frenzy, and finally slept the day away. That, and how dapper Adam looked in his tuxedo finest. How he and his buddies cried. None of the gals weeped, but the boys sure did. There was sobbing. Adam did say they were happy tears. Also, how Gibbles, wanted to be at the altar with us, she just seemed to meander around clutching at Adam's pants. This year we did want to plan something, like a big get together with friends, but because we really don't have any, it would be impossible. Maybe for the 20th. I'll post some more pics later. It's hard taking pictures of pictures. Me with Adam . . . total Gwyneth Paltrow smile there. My Mom, My Grandma McDougall, Me, and Nana. No comment on the situation above. Sardonic is the word that comes to mind. All black and white photography was Michaela Devine's magic. Adam is happy. Gibbles in her flower girl dress that Nana made. The boys. Dad and I, just prior to him giving me a fishing lure. . . to keep me "alluring" all my life. LOL Oh and Adam if you are reading this later. . .I love you, even with all your idiosyncrasies, chunky bum.

Bathtub #2

So, the bath water was steamy, the towel was in position, my bits were ready for the plunge. The dogs started barking downstairs. I started dribbling in "Relaxation Essential Oil Blend". Little voices were in earshot. No, the little elfish voices were not in my head, but seemed to be originating from my front porch. My bits and I scuffled toward the window "Who is there?!" I yelled. "Where is "Tibbles"?", answered me back. "She is in the middle of Lake Huron, and won't be back for a few days." "Why?" "Because she is on a boat." "Oh" Then my other neighbour chimed in, which I ignored completely. (Holy shitballs, are you kidding me, I just wanted one bath, I wanted to be pruned!) (If you are really interested in who these little imps are, you can peruse one of my first posts, that describe glass on a swing). I don't know how long I spent in the tub, it was quick, the dogs were barking, then the kids started playing in my driveway. . . I would like one hour of complete non audible noise. I wish I had one of those thingamajigs that blasted out tones that kept irritating children and drunks away. On another ADHD note, I really like updates on Paris Hilton. Update: 3 beds stripped and new sheets. Laundry that was previously dry, put away. More laundry in the washer and dryer. Kitchen cleaned. Quicky tidy of bedrooms. If I can get the house in order in the next few hours, I might just be able to take some time and do some hooking or maybe garden in the next couple of days.

Yessssss!

Wooooh hooooo! No kids. . .Adam's parents have taken them. Too bad they didn't take my dogs as well, but I suppose that would have been pushing it. Now the damn dogs won't stop barking, because they are missing the kids. I may resign myself to the bathtub. I did a big booboo in there. The tub is from the 1940's or earlier, it's not a claw foot, but it is ancient. We do have a claw foot in storage, but this one is the one that is attached right now. It is stained. I hate it. The whole bathroom needs to be redone, I painted in there, but it is still ugly, bad floors, bad walls, bad cabinetry. It was carpeted at one time, that was removed, only to find a metal patched hardwood floor. Back to the bathtub. I used every chemical known to man on it. My last resort was to fill it and use Muriatic Acid. It did remove some of the staining, but every time you sit your furry little bottom down, it feels like you are rubbing against heavy duty sandpaper and the actual enamel flakes off on your "bits and bites". It is not a nice feeling. So I will lay a towel down on the bottom of the tub before I attempt a soak. I could get it refinished, but I have the tub I want in the tool shed, hopefully, it's not housing any chipmunks.

Fun Fun Fun

Driving around in a golf cart IS fun. I suppose my biases about people riding around on them in town were unfounded, and snotty. I was a passenger at the Bayfield Parade, collecting information for the announcers. Adam drove and I rode shotgun. Over the course of the weekend, Adam's face, regardless of the amount of sunscreen, turned the colour of a scarlet ribbon. Yesterday, we went to the "Kill Yourself at a Company Event", and I wasn't injured. Although, my go-cart driving leaves a lot to be desired. I had to drive with one of Gibbles' friends and I did do a bit of unintentional off roading. Really, it was a mistake, I ended up on the grass twice and passing a few people. I had a mouthful of dirt because of all the laughing and screaming I did, it was like my mouth was a big net for gravel. I passed Adam twice on the course, he blamed the motor on his cart, but I reminded him that I possessed "pure skill". He became a little irritated. Again, he said his motor was not functioning properly, I said "maybe it was because your foot couldn't reach the gas pedal." His scarlet ribbon face turned purple. I am not a nice wife, that's okay, because Adam, "The Human Pillow" is the perfect person to tease, and secretly loves it. He is the type of person you just want to poke. I skipped the water slides, it was bloody freezing. My children were turning blue lipped, and goose pimply. All in all it was a good weekend. Unfortunately, my knees are pooched and I feel like I have a malfunctioning artificial hip. I hardly can get up the stairs today. Someday I will be completely bionic. The back of my truck is filled with large spiders. Thank god they can't get into the cab. Adam and I grabbed a composter from his Grandfather's old apartment which wasn't used. It had become a tenement building for juicy fat spiders. Now I am afraid to open the tailgate.

Weekend Musings

I noticed a big difference in the weather this week, you can smell autumn on our heels. Not only has some poison ivy started to change colour, I did notice some leaves changing as well. It was cold and windy today. I almost grabbed my long johns but opted for the wool socks. I have had some email end up in my junk folder that I have to get back to. . .so anyone who hasn't heard from me, I was either AWOL, or it's in my Junk Folder with emails that promote Viagra or penis enlargement. I twisted my ankle this week in the sand, I heard it pop. I still power walked tonight though. So, tomorrow is the parade, and the next day is "Hurt Yourself at a Company Event Day". . .I hate company "Maim Days". To me they are torturous, and cruel and unusual treatment. Last year I fell down the water slide, in a bikini. My daughter's hot dog was whisked away by the wind and landed on a lady (it had mustard on it), and I had to stand in line watching a challenged individual constantly pick her nose and then wipe it on her arm. Pick and wipe, pick and wipe . . . half an hour went by and the parents of this poor child did not intervene. What do you do with a tic? I suppose she couldn't help it.

More cottage pictures. . . .#97988

Gibbles, in the throws of a laughing fit. A really neat old bicycle, that mom should grow morning glories on. Mom sweating in the garden. Wondering how many nasturtiums I have eaten. Gibbles doesn't like when I take her picture anymore. Tomorrow, we are helping with the Bayfield Parade. At first I was supposed to be directing traffic in an orange vest. I think they came to their senses, and I will be riding shotgun in a golf cart. I was envisioning horses colliding with Shriner's, bicycles flying through the air, pure mayhem. The golf cart job seems more apropos. I wonder if I still get to wear the vest?

More cottage pictures. . . .#97987

Mom and Tibbles. Mom and Tibbles. Horizontal Hollyhock. Hollyhocks. Painted stones, weather rock and fake snake. I lost a batch of photos of Gibbles. . . I swear they posted, now they are gone.

Good Lord, This is Getting Painful

As if there aren't enough seagulls on the beach, now they are stuck on my parent's siding. I sit here quite frequently. This is where we are not supposed to fish. Another one of my mom's witty stones. Oh, this is when I fell down and twisted my ankle on their lush Rose of Sharon, hence the perspective. I abhor uploading. Blogger should allow one to do more than five measly pictures at a time. Here are some more pictures.

Cottage Pictures # ?

Here is a picture of my mom, she is telling me not to take "ignorant pictures". This is a picture of "SPIDEY". Dad made it. This is the old "outhouse". It is not used anymore for that purpose. A dreary flamingo. Antique wood saws and a canteen. Really. . .I just have a few more to upload. When I am decked out in long johns in the winter , I will look back on this garden with fondness.

More cottage pics

Here is another picture of that same wispy orange flower. I love this pine tree, it is so gnarly. A butterfly house that my Aunt Thelma painted.

Yes. . .here are some more garden envy pics.

More Purple Coneflowers. Tibbles squinting. This is some kind of prairie flower. More of my mom's painted stones. A juicy hollyhock.

Don't worry. . .here are some more pictures.

Miss Piggy. The Chunks Painted Stone amidst a flower which I cannot spell, but sounds like crochameia. Lautrec inspired painted stones. Painted bird houses decorate a ladder. Butterfly bush sprig.