Mow Maniacs

For this post I will resort to my speaking voice and a different font. "What is with those people who mow their already poo brown lawns twice a week? Are you kidding me? Honestly, you dumb turds. . . leave your grass alone. I am so sick to death of hearing the whirrrling of lawnmowers blowing out their crappy emissions. It doesn't irk me as much as it did last week, when there were smog alerts and the Mow Maniacs were out there full throttle looking pleased as punch (albeit sweaty and limp because of the humidity) with their redundant accomplishments. Please, give your heads a shake. Once a week is enough". Oh that feels so much better. I just needed to say it. I can remember as a kid running barefoot and probably bare bottomed on burnt turf. It was a horrible feeling, and scarred me for life. It scratched, it pierced and it itched. I don't like to walk around without shoes on now. It's all because of those terrible Mow Maniacs. I may be being too harsh. Maybe I am a tad jealous of their perfect lawns. Maybe I have inner lawn envy. No matter what I do, my garden looks like one of my cats planted it, or the weeds are springing up, regardless of the "environmentally friendly" things I put on it. If I could only teach my dogs to pee on the Dockweed specifically, I would probably have a good lawn.