I gardened a lot today. Instead of my usual "plunking", I decided my best course of action would be to rip out all phlox that had taken over my garden. See, I was attempting an English type garden, and it didn't work out at all, just one big mess, and as I have mentioned before, I can't see the forest for the trees. I thought of telling Freecycle there was a free for all in my garden, but. . . I just didn't want to deal with all the people milling around, and making appointements etc.. My inlaws did it, and told me it was a bit of a pain. I didn't wear gloves, I decided to just jump in to the mess and start hacking away at it with shovels, clippers and sheer brute force. I know that my mouth was moving, and spewing obscenities. Even the mantra "tall at the back, short at the front" doesn't help me when it comes to gardening Zen. What I want to do is seriously rip out everything green, and then throw down landscape fabric, get some bagged soil (I can't stand loads of topsoil. . .it always is weedy), and then plant some hostas and hollyhocks. That is all I want. My husband hates the bagged soil, he has opinions on gardening but, I don't think I have ever seen him actually garden or tiptoe through the tulips. My second option is take everything out, and plant grass seed. Third option is get fake grass that costs 10,000 for a 50 *50 foot square. I saw it on the London news last night, and I honestly thought of remortgaging the house. Whilst gardening, I had an episode with Wookie. I have mentioned that she has a horrendous attention seeking bark. If I am on the couch having a tea, she stands in front of me and barks in a high pitched yelping bark. If I am busy with something, she does the same thing. This dog though, is not lacking for any sort of attention. So, I decided to take her out with me, I attached her chain to one of those screw in the ground type apparatuses, and then proceeded to damage my garden. As I was walking to the back yard with the limp dead flowers, she started into her glass shattering monologue. I returned, everything was fine. Then, I had to start ripping out some other foliage, five feet from the end of her leash, and she started her oration again. It was getting a tad embarrassing, so I gave her a stick. This did not work. She decided to go over to my travel mug of java and tip it on purpose. Fine, I thought, even though it was done deliberately and with contempt, I would ignore it. I grabbed some more refuse to take to the compost pile, came back and my clippers were gone. The dog, had hidden my clippers, which I found half an hour later in a blob of Russian Sage. This dog is too smart. In an irritating way.