Kids

Mornings, especially on school days are not my forte. Until at least three coffees are slung back, family members know that they should not ask me any questions, or ask me where they put their homework, socks, mittens, etc. I used to be a happy person in the morning, now I am a shell of a woman. This morning, lunches were made, (which I know that the kids will not eat, so they are "token" lunches). There is a regression that happens with ALL mothers~~ "YOU WOULD EAT IT IF YOU WERE IN ETHIOPIA. . .THINK OF THE CHILDREN THERE". My kids just stare at me as if I have lost my last neuron. I have some fake legumes, I picked them up at a garage sale. . .I think I am going to sneak them in to their lunches tomorrow, it's Pizza Day, but just for kicks, I have these long fuzzy fake beans that I will squirrel away between their juice boxes. It does not take much to entertain me lately. Then the dreaded yell. . ."WHERE IS MY REMEMBRANCE DAY POSTER?!" "WHERE IS IT, I PUT IT ON THE TABLE AND NOW IT'S GONE". Kids fists were flying (I suppose it's good for Tibbles' arm), the air became tense, the dogs took shelter. I said "Is it in your room?" "NO! I BROUGHT IT DOWNSTAIRS, IT'S GONE". Memories of "WHERE IS MY RUBRIC" floated through my head. (A few years ago, Gibbles had misplaced her "rubric", I thought she was mispronouncing Rubik Cube, but it's a way the teachers mark things, and chaos ensued). Well, it turned out that her poster was on her bed, in a very conspicuous area. I did not receive a "Thank you Mom", not a "Wow, gee Mom, you are really great at finding lost homework, I love you so much" or "Gosh golly Mom, are you ever awesome", I just received a grunt and an eye roll. (See Bum and Clad. . .all that horrible stuff that I did to you as a teen bean is coming back to haunt me. I have a double whammy, two girls. At least I was buffered by my perfect brother, "Monsieur Streak-o-Lean". You can sit back in your armchairs and just laugh).